ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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