there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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