You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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