hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.