I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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