addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize