Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
