its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
