Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
