What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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