you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
