We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
