remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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