very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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