We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
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I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
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But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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