if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
