Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
