Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He felt like a one man threesome
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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