I accidentally burped into my bong.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
