; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
