One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
