D3 body, D1 cock
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize