i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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