If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
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I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
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