This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?