I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.