help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
