Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
