We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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