she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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