We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
