I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
