you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
we're making bets on your personal life
a search helicopter?!
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize