yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize