i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
