Please don't use social media to get back at me.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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