I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
