people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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