i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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