lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
There's even glitter on my cock...
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