I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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