Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
