God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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