is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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