What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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