So drunk its hurt
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
