she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i would punch a child for taco bell
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
