also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
