I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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