I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
