Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
