my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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