Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize