and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
