That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
