its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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